Unfinished Portrait
by Astragunner2002
Summary: The portrait of Mother Sophia waiting in silent moments within Nisan Cathedral, waiting rnfor someone to understand the history deep inside when it is being painted as it is always... unfinished.rn I am Divinelight, but my penname is astragunner2002...
1. Unfinished Portrait

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"Unfinished Portrait..."

by Divinelight November 2004 Indonesian Language December 2004 English Language

ANNOUNCEMENT: I appreciate every of single review for my works, so I will review yours also (the newest one), and I'll guarantee to review it, even it's not my favorite. So, please review mine and I'll review yours, so we can be better together.

AUTHOR's WORD   
Xenogears is an episode of the whole "Xenosaga", and is the 5th episode of it. As the fan of Tetsuya Takahashi-creator of Xenogears-, I won't change the story of Xenogears, cause for me, Xenosaga is a PERFECT WORK. Howewver, Xenogears only give the small portion of what the creator-Takahashi-san-want to tell. That's why all of my Xenoggears and Xenosaga fanfics are always not my own fantasy, but the truth that is hidden deep inside...

DISCLAIMER 

All Xenogears' characters are Takahashi-san's.

Scene: The first time the party reached Nisan, Cathedral of Nisan.  
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"Whose portrait is this?" asked Citan.  
"Mother Sophia... this is the portrait of her... the founder of Nisan," said Marge to him.

Fei's Point of View:

"Elly..." my voice starts before I thought for a glance.  
This... this portrait is really Elly, if not just because of the colour of the hair is blonde, she surely is Elly whose hair is brown... however...

"Fei..." uttered Citan to me.  
"Please let me be here alone... for a little while..." me answering.  
"All right, if you insist," answered by Citan as he opens the door and go out, along with Marge.

I'm standing still in the room, without my knowing, I'm walking toward the portrait closer. Surely it is a high-qualitiy painting, but... the smile drawn there express the sadness... And the bottom part of the portrait is not completely drawn, maybe I should call it... unfinished.

Deep within myself, I got the vision... the vision of what happened in the past, graved within the history of mankind...

In my vision, this room is drawn as it is now... that means the flow of time doesn't convert it. The only thing different is there is no portrait of Mother Sophia here... but it is still drawn in its canvas. There are two people, a man who is painting the portrait, and a woman who sits in front of him, is being painted.

"Huff..." sighed the man in front of his painting.  
"I guess this is enough for today, Mother Sophia," the man said.  
"Lacan..." the woman talks to him.  
"I've told you... don't refer me as that when we are alone..." "... okay, 'Elly'," he answers.

"Lacan...," she said.  
"yeah, Elly..." he answered.  
"What do you refer the life as?" she asked him.  
"Life.." he said," for me is something blurry to explain"  
"Don't you always express life... within the painting?" she asked as she looks at the painting of her.

The painting smiled at her, as she looks at it. The glance expressed by the painting surely is beautiful. It just like... Lacan not just paint Sophia from what he look at, but truthly, he expressed Sophia within his heart in the painting.

"There's only small part to complete..." said Sophia.  
"Yeah, you're right..." envoiced Lacan, there is a grief within the tone of the voice.  
"Lacan... what would you do after this?" asked Sophia with the same grief.  
"I... I think..." said Lacan cannot finish his words.

"Mother Sophia..." uttered the voice outside the room.  
"You are summoned by Shevat... for their meeting," the voice continues.

"That's it, Elly..." said Lacan.  
"Until next time then, Lacan," said Sophia, and she walks out of the room.  
With the great sadness, Lacan stared at his painting.

"I... I cannot finish this..." he said to himself.  
"after this painting is finished... I have to leave you, 'Elly'... I... I just can't.  
"Life... what do I have to do... I just don't understand..."

My mind travels time... as I visioned the Great War 500 years ago, when Shevat fought Solaris. At that war, Mother Sophia sacrifice herself, and destroyed along her aircraft...

My vision get Lacan in the top of a hill, standing still there.  
"What kind of life is this?" he shouted.  
"What does life means to us?" he shouted to the silent sky.  
"Elly... I won't search for you in the netherworld... I... I'll wait for you... I won't die... I'll wiat until you return for me..." said Lacan as he walkes away, searching the path to become 'god'.

Meanwhile, the painting itself... the unfinished Mother Sophia's painting still waiting in silence within the catedhral of Nisan... for eternity... expressing the hope of the two lovers who cannot be together...

Lacan... yeah he is Grafh in the past... so, Grafh has experience as a human... in a grief life... Ironically, after he become 'god', he forgot the humanity's heart...

The grief can be felt within the room... because of the broken hope of the 2 lovers... just like that unfinished portrait.  
I return into my sense, as I see the painting just before I opened the door.  
My hearts once again asked,"What does life refers to me...?"

to be continued in the game.

Fanfic "Unfinished Portrait" written by Divinelight November 2004 ORIGINAL XenoGears developed by Monolith Soft, published by Squaresoft.  
ORIGINAL Story -XenoGears- by Tetsuya Takahashi, the creator of Xenogears.  
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please review my work here, I want to know how readers feel when reading the fanfic. Thank you in advance. 


	2. APPENDIX

APPENDIX: My Will...

by Divinelight December 2004 English Language

penname: astragunner2002

AUTHOR's WORD

Telling the truth, I don't wanna continue this fic, but seeing how I derive Lacan's life so blurry, I decided to add some.

So, basically this fic is the continuation of Lacan's story within Xenogears.

DISCLAIMER

All Xenogears' properties belong to Takahashi-san.

Lacan's point of view:

It's already almost 5 months since that time... when I see 'Elly' for the last time... Damn those whole people... Solaris, Shevat, they are just the same...

I still cannot understand... just why 'Elly' want to sacrifice herself… just for them? Those heartless humans… they don't even deserve to keep living… I just… I just can't understand…

And here am I, running from my own destiny as a human… no, I don't want to be just a human, like those filthy creatures… And now, I'm searching the path of 'god'.

I'm walking and keep walking… as I follow my own will, into the end of the world… searching for something that for everyone is just an illusion…

Then… I find that 'ship'… Mahanon, the 'vessel of god', deep buried within the polar of the world, hidden in the endless snowstorm…

I go inside, looking for what I'm aiming for, deep within this structure, there must be some way to become 'god', I'm sure of it. As I enter the dark chamber, suddenly I can sense a presence…

"Who are you, mortal?" said an echoing sound directly to inside of me.

"I'm Lacan, and I want to search for the path of 'god'!" I shouted to the sound.

"A 'contact' after all, huh?" said that sound again…

'Contact'? All I know, 'contact' is the person who is the founder of humanity for this planet, that keep reincarnating across the history of humanity.

"What do you mean? What are you?" I asked as I challenge the sound.

"I am the Wave Existence, the Entity far greater than you.. mortal," the sound replied me.

"You said that you search for the path of 'god'?" the sound asked me again.

"Yeah, I want to become 'god'!" as I replied.

The scenery around me got blurry, and my visions just fading away…

"Lacan… wake up," I awake as I hear the familiar sound…

As I got my sense, my visions is about to become clearer…

"Elly? Is that really you?" I asked as I see 'Elly' in front of me…

'Elly' smiled back at me, helping me to awake.

Seeing her in front of my own eyes, I just cannot control over myself anymore.

Then, I hug her… really tight, I don't want to release her…. Not again…

"Lacan…" I hear she call for me.

"Elly… what happened? Where is this?" I asked not releasing my hug yet, as I realize we are not in some room, but more likely we are inside some kind of space…

" "Path of Sepiroth"… that's what Wave Existence told me…" she answered me.

Slowly I release my hug, still cannot contain my joy to see her again with my own eyes.

I don't want to know whatever other than to see her… as I don't care about every other things.

"No, Lacan… I'm sorry…" Elly said to me in grief tone, hiding her face from me.

"Elly…" as I want to reach her.

"I cannot see you anymore… this is farewell for us…" she said as tears glowing from the edge of her eyes.

"No… Elly, don't say like that," I keep trying to reach her… but I just cannot, there's some force that separate us… that I couldn't break…

"Lacan… I just wanna say… I love you, Lacan…" she said as I see her moving backward… as she is more unreachable from me…

"No… Elllyyyy!!" I keep shouting to her as she is gradually vanishing…

"No, Elly! NOOO!!!!" I shout as loud as I can…

"What will you do then, mortal?" the sound of Wave Existence return to me.

"I… I hate them… Shevat… Solaris… not just them… I HATE ALL THE HUMANS!!" I shout again to the void.

"If that what you desire… I'll lend the power of Zohar upon you… 'contact' " the voice said as I felt something arise within me… the hate… the sorrow, now replaced by the hate for all the humans… as a great, unlimited power born inside me…

Yes, I'm not a human anymore… I am now 'god'! All my sorrow, I don't need it anymore… I don't have any sorrow left for me… I just have my WILL… to eliminate humanity!!!

I laughed… very loudly as this place is crumbled, and with my unlimited power, I left 'Mahanon', once again to the world of humanity… TO ELIMINATE THEM!!!

From now on, my WILL will conquer… as I am not 'Lacan" anymore… I AM . . . . GRAFH!

FIN

This is the fanfic of Lacan changing himself as Grafh, hope this is the truth for Xeno story, because I just imaginating how Zohar make a contact to Lacan as the 'contact'… ok, please R&R!

Akuma-kisu: Thanks for your review… I continue this story because of the review, I'll close this one but I'll come back with another Xenogears fanfic. Until then, see you later.


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